Renaming Aug 9

Hear ye hear ye,

Citizen-serfs and True-believers of the ruling elite of Singapore.
Upon the non-authority I posses, I hereby proclaim that Aug 9 from henceforth be called Government Day.

It is a day of celebration -- to pay tribute and homage to the government. It is a day of reflection -- for citizen-serfs and the true-believers of the ruling elite to unite in camraderie to reflect on their shared values -- that being based on a supremely omniscient, omnipresent and absolutely incorruptible govt, comprising of heavenly and divinely pure individuals, who are never wrong and exhibit the paragon of inscrutable morality.

The wonderful supreme beings have the people's interest at heart, and
they have "sacrificed" their worth in a meritocratic system to earn
far less than they could because of their altruistic nature. They
gratefully and humbly accept the "crumbs" the people throw at them so
that these supreme civil servants can at least have simple existence.
Singaporeans, rightfully unite with one another every August 9 to express gratitude, honour and esteem their wonderful government -- not only the best in the world, but the best in all of human history, since the ascent of man itself.

Singaporeans willfully and happily hand over their lives and their
country to this coterie of elites, because the elites know best. It is
not that no one dares to question the elites... why would one even
bother. It makes no sense whatsoever.

These elites are simply born better than you. They are heaven-made,
which means their level of perfection is beyond your mere mortal
ability to even try to grasp, let alone comprehend on what it is to be
that perfect.

Happy Government Day. All hail the Singapore Government, supreme owner
of the people and the nation. Singaporeans, pledge not only allegiance
to your government, but also love and honour.

And don't forget to give generously of yourself and your money as
simple, kacang-puteh small-time but nonetheless heartfelt tokens of
your appreciation.

Matilah Singapura!